"Based on pre-election polls outside of Tehran, and given his support among the poor, I'd have to say that Ahmadinejad won a bitterly contested, but fair election. That's my take, anyway."
"Jon's wrong again. Clearly there was voter fraud and rigged ballots. To me, Mousavi is the real president of Iran, something I'll instill in my adorable children from this point on."
"Kate's reacting emotionally. Mousavi's a career politician who changes positions depending on need. He's no reformer. But Kate's blinded by the romance of reform."
"It's true I'm a romantic when it comes to reform, and I make no apologies for that. I have to think of the world my beautiful children will grow up in. But there were simply too many irregularities in the vote counting to make this a fair election."
"Kate's got a thing for Ali Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani. She'll bring him up at the oddest times, sometimes in her sleep. So it doesn't surprise me that she's backing the 'stolen election' meme coming out of that camp. What else would she say?"
"Jon forgot to mention his fascination with Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. We argued about it leading up to the election. I think my darling children were upset with Jon's defense of the clerical hierarchy, but I told them that sometimes mommies and daddies disagree."
"Look, the bottom line is that Kate supports anything that'll bring down the current Iranian government. She hasn't seriously thought about what the regional consequences will be. But that's Kate. And don't get her started about Venezuela."
"I just have to stay strong and move forward. For my gorgeous children, and the children of Iran."