Break Your News
HOST: Welcome back. We've been discussing how Iran's voting fraud would never happen in a true democracy like ours -- or if it did, it would be a mistake, an error, some kind of oversight, the fault of a lower-level functionary, bitter about his or her place in life, looking to fix an election in a pathetic attempt to fix themselves.
HOST: So, Carter, you see this fixed election as another step in Iran's ongoing quest to . . .
GUEST: Dominate the world.
HOST: The world?
HOST: I see. How exactly will this occur?
GUEST: It's already happening. It's all around us. LOOK -- RIGHT BEHIND YOU!
(Host jumps and screams)
GUEST: Ha ha. Gotcha!
HOST: Jeez! You really had me there!
GUEST: It's an old favorite.
HOST: And very funny!
GUEST: Yeah. But seriously, Iran is on the march.
HOST: Chilling. Now, how does Iran's reform movement recover from this rigged setback?
GUEST: Car bombs. And snipers. At least two dozen well-trained snipers.
HOST: So you feel that violent resistance is the next step?
GUEST: Oh yes. If the reformists can't get in through elections, they have no choice to but start killing people.
HOST: Isn't that a little extreme?
GUEST: How do you mean?
HOST: Well, unless the will of the Iranian people is behind them, any violent resistance is doomed to fail.
GUEST: What are you saying?
HOST: I'm saying that without mass support, armed insurrection has no chance.
GUEST: I'm not quite getting you . . .
HOST: You can't go around bombing and shooting people if there's no popular consensus for it.
GUEST: Sorry. There must be some kind of technical problem.
HOST: I can hear and see you fine.
GUEST: Anyway, car bombs, lots of snipers, pepper spray of course, nails sticking out of planks of wood . . .
HOST: Thanks for stopping by, Carter. Next -- how soon before North Korea poisons our frozen food? And later, a roundtable discussion about fire ants, the insect world's Al Qaeda.
GUEST: Gravel in a large sock -- ever get hit with that? Hurts like hell.