Thursday, October 25, 2007

Mulch Clogs The Minuet

Following American sports is usually a depressing pastime. I've written before about the dim-witted trogs who populate sports radio, from the hosts right down to the angriest caller, most often a middle-aged white guy who's tired of being oppressed by Political Correctness, who shows excessive scorn for rich black athletes who don't behave as he would like, who's always ready to question the sexuality of those who aren't as masculine (over the phone) as he.

A cardboard cut-out? If you think so, then you must not listen to much sports radio. I do. Why? I don't know. Something connected to my youth, I suppose, when sports excited and inspired me. I still enjoy a lot of games played inside the lines. It's the horseshit that swirls around the games and personalities that drive me mad.

It's been all downhill since Roberto Clemente died.

Recently, in a vain attempt to find some angle from which to enjoy the World Series, I openly backed the Colorado Rockies, as it appeared they would play the Cleveland Indians. There was no way I could root for the Red Sambos, however much I respect that team's talent; plus, the Rox were playing great baseball, sweeping their first two playoff series. This inspired some concerned readers to inform me of the Rox's locker room messianic revivals, their rightist mindset, the fact that they play on Coors Field. How could I support a team like that? I replied that I was already aware of Colorado's Bible-thumpin', snake handlin' ways, but in order to watch the Fall Classic, I must have a team to pull for, or at least a team to despise. Cleveland made that choice simple.

Well, the Sambos tanked Mets-style, and Rox got the Red Sox instead. Now who do I root for? No one. Forget it. I'm done with baseball until the next All Star break. I mean, who can choose between two collections of right wing holy rollers? Mix in pro-war/anti-dissent assholes like Curt Schilling (who once hinted on Jim Rome's show that antiwar protesters should be beaten -- and no, it wasn't a gag), and it quickly becomes the Who Cares? series. After Boston's utter demolition of the Rox last night (Josh Beckett paints corners with a razor), it may be a short Fuck It series as well.

The NBA season starts in a week. The NFL is in full swing. 'Tis heaven to be alive.