A Moment, Please

Among the many beautiful features that make America the classy, sassy lady she is, the unflinching ability to recognize wrong is near the top of the list -- just so long as the wrongness is seen in others.

The recent resolution backed by Democratic honchos condemning Turkey's mass murder of Armenians is quickly losing appeal in the House, but you have to marvel at the Dem effort, led by that fine humanitarian, Nancy Pelosi. Who says that Madam Speaker is afraid to tackle the tough issues? Oh, sure, there's that Iraq thing, and a criminal administration, and a possible attack on Iran, and a host of other problems. But by God, Speaker Pelosi knows where she stands when it comes to century-old mass graves on the other side of the world -- at least when she thinks there are enough votes to make this stand stick. But if the votes aren't there, well, one can push only so much morality in a day. I mean, they crucified Christ and shot JFK, right? So there are limits.

What I find particularly soothing is how elite Americans see genocide everywhere except in their own mirrors. Considering the countless millions of people the U.S. and its friends have slaughtered since the beginning of our noble existence, you'd think that we might critically review our own acts of mass murder before pointing fingers at other nations. But that's what's great about America: we don't! Yes, we may have made some "mistakes" and "errors" in our previous judgment; and sure, this probably resulted in unspeakable carnage and misery. But we did all this for "honorable" reasons. Not like those filthy Turks or those slimy Japanese. When was the last time they apologized for anything?

When it comes to Turkey, the Dems don't need to travel too far back to find war crimes to denounce. In the early 90s, the Turkish state engaged in a savage land and air campaign against the Kurds, killing tens of thousands, destroying over 3,000 villages, creating some two million refugees. But don't hold your breath waiting for that resolution. President Bill Clinton, whose wife, I understand, is running for a major office, backed that campaign with generous military aid. And why not? It was the "honorable" thing to do.

Nobel Laureate, Academy Award winner, and two-time national spelling bee champ Al Gore insists, once again, that he will not run for president in '08. Think that'll stop dizzy liberals from fantasizing about Gore running anyway? No chance. They could take the man at his word, consider the financial mountain he'd have to surmount in record time, plus recognize the plain fact that Gore is in a great professional place. Why the fuck would he want to inherit Bush's many catastrophes? The media gloss Gore presently enjoys would disappear overnight, and then liberals would have to defend their hero's inevitable crimes, which would doubtless include bombing poor people in smaller countries. Not that liberals couldn't or wouldn't defend killing those who don't speak American, but after eight years of crying about the "unique" awfulness of the Republicans, there may be a catch in their throats when President Gore is doing the honors. Nothing they couldn't get past, of course.

Condoleezza Rice, while in Bethlehem, said the following, apparently without irony:

"Being here at the birthplace of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, has been a very special and moving experience. It is also, I think, a personal reminder that the prince of peace is still with us."

Or as Rush Limbaugh might call the Holy Land peacenik, that "phony Savior." Blessed are the peacemakers? Tell it to Osama, Jesus!

Not to brag or anything, but I did pick the Colorado Rockies to go all the way at the beginning of baseball's playoffs. (If you don't believe me, just ask my friend Barry Crimmins, who's still trying to figure out what happened to his beloved Yankees.) The Rockies have been playing so loose and with such confidence, it seemed as if no one could stop them. And no one has as yet: 7-0 in the post-season, and waiting for the American League champ to emerge. Unless the Red Sox pull another major comeback, it looks as though the Rockies will play the Cleveland Indians in the World Series.

Good. I'd root for the Rockies either way, but going against the Indians with their racist, Red Sambo image will add a little emotion to my cheering. Cleveland's symbol is a disgrace. That it's embraced by the Tribe faithful is even worse. Would you Indian fans proudly display a similar caricature if it represented a black man or a Jew? I hope not. But then, Cleveland's so hungry for a title, they'd slap Stepin Fetchit on their caps if it would help.

Go Rockies. Make it 11-0.