Freedom Of Choice

In a shameless bid for the women's vote, Mitt Romney declared he would protect America's toddlers from Casey Anthony, or anyone with Casey or Anthony in their name.



Not to be outdone, Michele Bachmann said she would protect the citizens of Whoville, whom only she can hear.



Believing God has already elected him as president, Rick Santorum signs executive orders on anything anybody hands him.



To show he has nothing to hide, Tim Pawlenty invites schoolchildren to search his scalp for head lice.



If elected, Jon Huntsman promises no distractions from running the country by keeping his family behind an invisible fence.



Herman Cain spends most of his time convincing white conservatives that he's not going to enslave them.



Always the maverick, Ron Paul tries to hypnotize a New Hampshire audience into embracing the gold standard.



Newt Gingrich is also courting the hypnotized vote, employing wife Callista at fundraising events.



Still weighing her options, Sarah Palin fears she may not be crazy enough to win the 2012 nomination.