Friday, June 6, 2008

Buy Or Die

Judging from some recent mail, a number of you seem confused about what it is I do here. Most times, I haven't the faintest idea myself, so how you could possibly know is beyond me, but all interpretations are welcome. Fuck, you may be closer to the mark than me.

Excitement brews on the lib-left side of the tablet, as Obama preps for the Fall Classic, bathed in history, driven by destiny, set to punish feeble John McCain, a token obstacle to the promised land. But there's anxiety, too, and genuine fear. What if McCain's not so feeble? What if the war-crazy bastard actually wins? The libs don't want to give that thought any serious currency, dodging, dismissing, and pissing on it every time it bobs up. As the months peel away, and crunch time comes, I suspect that lib lunacy will reach feverish peaks, mutating into new mad shapes, darkening the sky, fouling the air. And then there's the GOP approach to consider, as they attempt to appear de-nazified while polishing their boots.

But, I'm a cynic. I hate everything. We're all doomed no matter what. Or so some of you say.

Maybe we're fucked, maybe we're not. That's not my call, as I have zero influence over current events. I'm not trying to be a pundit, a commentator, much less a political mouthpiece or ideological example. I simply write what I see, what I feel, what I fear, and yes, what I love and enjoy. There are plenty of people who pledge allegiance to and have bottomless faith in the American political system, so if that's what you need as we stagger to yet another most important election ever forever, you know where to click. I understand the need to clutch onto Obama for dear life, because frankly, there's no other serious option, is there? So one must place one's dire hopes on a man surrounded by Secret Service agents, financed by private interests, and openly intent on keeping the imperial machine running, once he's made a few minor adjustments to repair the damage of the Bush era.

And, really, that's pretty much all Obama is -- a system saver. His skin tone is both a bonus and possible detriment, depending on the consumer's mindset. But effective rebranding must take some creative chances if new customers are to be moved to buy the product. As Keith Reinhard, chairman emeritus of DDB Worldwide, recently put it: "Barack Obama is three things you want in a brand. New, different, and attractive. That's as good as it gets."

Purchase or perish. You can't get much freer than that.