Friday, September 11, 2009

Know Your Sacrifice

Happy Perpetual War For The Rest Of Our Consumerist Lives Day! Eight years down, 92 or so to go.

That baby in your belly, that child blowing out his or her fifth birthday candles, that sullen pre-teen wrestling with puberty and peer pressure -- all are potential cannon fodder in our glorious crusade. Embrace it! Celebrate it! Plan for their funerals in advance! Teach them that this is their patriotic duty, their ultimate destiny!

George W. Bush got the ball rolling. Barack Obama is keeping the track slick with blood. Oh, what a magnificent time to be alive! Our enemies, both foreign and domestic, should quake in the shadow of our righteous cause!

We just gettin' warmed up, y'all. Lock and load. Read 'em and weep. Love it or leave it. Lather, rinse, repeat. You know the words! Sing along!