Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Votes Are Where You Find Them

"The Speech! Did you hear The Speech!"

"Oh God yes! My knees are still shaking!"

"It's the greatest thing I've ever heard! I can't stop crying!"

"Reality as I've known it has changed forever!"

"My senses have been shattered, then reassembled in a fresh, mystical pattern!"

"Mine too! What I would do to that man if I had the chance!"

"I know! I would suck his sweet dick for a week!"

"Only a week! You racist!"

"Okay, a month then!"

"Christ, go burn a cross already!"

"All right -- a year!"

"What, and risk losing the midterms?!"

"For how long then?"

"As long as it takes!"

"We'd have to work in shifts!"

"Shifts?! There's no time for shifts! We need to double team him!"

"Of course! Sorry!"

"Sorry won't take you to the promised land!"

"Right! So, front and back?"

"Yes, yes -- front, back, on our knees, bent over, sprawled out, switched up, port, stern, aft, the whole fucking thing!"

"Gotcha! Watch the teeth, lube the hands, steady strokes, maintain the rhythm!"


"Ummm . . ."

"What's the problem?"

"Who are we talking about?"

"Obama! Who are you talking about?"

"Oh, no one . . . I mean, Obama."