As my Cub Scout leader used to tell me, if you can't say something nice about someone, blow up their house and set fire to their lawn.
I will say this: If it wasn't for Britney Spears' sleepwalking routine at last night's Video Music Awards, what in the world would Americans have to talk about today? Oh yeah -- Kid Rock and Tommy Lee trading off-stage slaps. Now that's rock and roll . . . or whatever it is Rock and Lee spew out. In a Justin Timberlake world, somebody's gotta be a badass. Michael Vick's too busy to comply, while Gen. David Petraeus is doing his pantomime war dance on Capitol Hill. Which reminds me, tomorrow's another 9/11 anniversary. Gee, I can't wait to write about that.