Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Frontline Laffs




(All material sanctioned by the New York Times, NPR, National Review, New Republic, Weekly Standard, and Commentary. Enjoy, and remember: You can spell "carnage" without IDF, but would you really want to?)

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Q: Why did the Israeli Army cross the border?
A: What border?

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There was once a Zionist, Joe
Whose reflexes were kinda slow.
One day he released
A white phosphorus feast,
On Arabs killed weeks ago.

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Q: How many Palestinians can fit in an oven?
A: What, and waste gas on non-kosher meat!

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Two IDF grunts were arguing about how much pain Palestinian prisoners can endure.

"I say those pigs can go three minutes without air!" boasted the first soldier.

"And I say those dogs wouldn't last 20 seconds of having their bones broken!" replied the other.

An artillery officer overheard the argument, and quickly admonished the soldiers.

"You're both wrong!" corrected the officer. "Cut those roaches in half, and they'll crawl for 40 years!"

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Q: What did the Israeli Gomer Pyle say when he saw Hamas fire three missiles?
A: "Qassam! Qassam! Qassam!"

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Drawers of water, hewers of wood,
Crying that they're misunderstood.
Slaughter their children, blackout the news,
That'll teach 'em to fuck with the Jews!

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Q: What do you call a Palestinian mass grave?
A: Israel.